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Sexual Relationship: Building a Healthy & Godly Sexual Relationship

 

 

Building a Healthy and Godly Sexual Relationship

Elmbrook Premarital Class

Presenters: Dan Green, Ph.D., Lynne Green, M.S.

Blueprint of a Healthy and Godly sexual relationship
  1. We are created as sexual beings
  2. Sexuality is declared "very good"
  3. Sexuality is a mystery
  4. Marriage is a covenant relationship for the purpose of companionship — Sexual behaviors are designed to be within this unique & exclusive relationship
  5. Sexuality involved in procreation
  6. Sexuality is for pleasure and recreation
  7. Sexuality facilitates deep vulnerability
  8. Sexual marital behaviors are to be unselfish and uninterrupted

Challenges to God’s Plan

Myths

  • My spouse should be sensitive enough to know what I want, or,... I shouldn’t have to talk about sex with my spouse because sex will naturally take care of itself.
  • Talking about sex will kill the spontaneity.
  • I need to avoid conflict at all costs.
  • Men want sex for pleasure; women want sex for intimacy.
  • Men reach their sexual peak at 18; women at 40.
  • The perfect body is necessary for good sex

Ignorance

Cultural Influences

  • Judeo-Christian traditions
  • Cultural — Media

Developmental Influences

Unresolved Anger, Resentments, Hurts

Fear — Performance Anxiety

  • Fear of Vulnerability
  • Spectatoring

Unrealistic Expectations

Excessive Need to Please

The Unexpected

Pressure, Tension of Daily Living

Unaware — Insensitive to Spouse or Current Conditions

Use of Sex as Power

Fertility Issues

Pornography

Trauma

Tools for a Healthy & Godly Sexual Relationship

Accept the developmental nature of your relationship

Be realistic about the honeymoon

Identify and accept the unique gender differences in your relationship

Increase intimacy and trust in all areas of your relationship

Talk & share about your sexual relationship

Resolve conflicts in the present

Be willing to explore with mutual respect

Be tolerant, accepting, forgiving

Have fun, Enjoy

Selected Biblical References:

Genesis 1: 20 -- 24, 27 – 31; Genesis 18:12; Proverbs 5:15; Song of Solomon; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Cor. 7:1 – 7; 1 Cor. 13

Selected Readings:

Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start : A Guide for Engaged and Newlywed Couples. (1995) by Clifford L. Penner, Ph.D. & Joyce J., Penner, R.N. , Word Books.

A Celebration of Sex (1996). by Douglas Rosenau Ph.D., Thomas Nelson

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Last modified: March 10, 2005