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Family Devotions: Battle or Blessing? Ingrid Lawrenz MSW The cobbler's children have no shoes. The accountant's checkbook isn't balanced. My father was a carpenter. He built beautiful houses. In the rural area that he worked in, there were no project managers, no difference between "rough-in" and "finish" carpenters. He and his brother did it all, working long hours, never taking vacation. His work was always a mystery to me, I guess because I never saw him do one handyman project or home repair at our own house. I guess when he was home he rested and needed a change of pace. Sadly, this is also often the case in ministry homes. Over worked, over "meeting-ed", disciplers, collapsing at the front door. Children who live there, sometimes, are also over "churched," bored at the prospect of more programmed devotions. Often the mother of the family becomes plagued by guilt for not having a family that is a model of spirituality. Often she is angry at her husband for not being the "spiritual leader" in the home such as taking charge of devotions. I think too many families put themselves in a bind by having a too-limiting view of the way devotions have to be. Some women think their husbands are the only ones allowed to teach and pray with their children, and yet we read in 2 Timothy 1:5. "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." God certainly honored their discipling of this faithful Christian leader. Many husbands can be replenished and encouraged by seeing their wives use their own gifts of nurturing the faith in the ones who follow after them. Sometimes regular formal family devotional time can be rewarding and fun for the family who gravitates toward structured activities. Other families find more freedom and even more sincerity for themselves in some flexibility or creativity. A constant nagging guilt of the "shoulds" (i.e., it should be this way, and only this way, and it should be this long, and it should be this format, and it should be this often,) can cause passive avoidance. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 "Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." In other words naturally impress on your children the reality of God's presence in all that you say and do, may it be a normal outflowing of who you are in Christ. Look for every opportunity and teachable moment to discuss God's view-the TV commercial that is trying to sell you bad morals; God's fingerprints in nature; the crude conversation overheard in the grocery line; the political debates or even the attitudes between siblings. There is also profound modeling that takes place when a child accidentally discovers you praying, or knows to not disturb you during your quiet time. God's reality becomes clear when news is heard or something happens and you drop everything to pray for such things as seeing an ambulance rushing by, the cat getting lost, a bad dream, or dad having to go talk to a hurting person. Seeing compassionate tears on parents' faces awakens a child's awareness of the need to love and sacrifice. Varying the type of devotional activities can also keep things fresh, point to Christ as the families' center and fulfill the exhortation in Deut. 6:4-9. Some Ideas: * During Advent, weekly lighting of the advent candle, Christmas songs and lessons * During Lent, Christ in the Passover Seder meals * Acts of charity at Christmas or anytime * At Thanksgiving time, make a thankful list poster * Nature appreciation trips at springtime * Conversational prayers at bedtime * Reading aloud children's devotional books or Bible chapters before bed * Missionary faces on the refrigerator, with updates from their newsletters discussed at supper * Memory verses at breakfast * Reciting prayers, creeds and commandments during car trips, to pass the time As Steve Green sings "May those who follow after find us faithful." Our own love for Jesus is a better teacher than any lesson plan we could follow. Don't leave that behind at the church doors, with your checking out of work time card. Have fun sharing yourself with your family! |
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