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Is Passion just a fruit in the grocery store? Developing Real Intimacy in All Areas of Relationship Presented at the Lifebuilders @ Elmbrook Church, Brookfield, WI, 01-13-01 by Dan Green, Ph.D. & Lynne Green, M.S. Intimacy Separateness i. Unique person ii. Private existence b. Equalityi. Adult to Adult B Peersc. Flexibilityi. Each can be strong or weak, provide or receive d. Closenessi. Move towards and away ii. Tolerate and Resolve strong emotions e. Vulnerabilityi. Emotion f. Connectioni. Responsiveness ii. Communication of value iii. Heard, Touched, Seen Pseudo-Intimacy B being the same Knowing & Being Known : the activity of intimacyKNOWING : learning who you are, what it is like to be youBEING KNOWN : learning how to let you know me, what it is like to be meWE NEED BOUNDARIES
A Tool for Being Together
A Tool for Knowing You C Letting You Know Me
So, How Do I Gather Information for the Screen for My Spouse?
% maintain good eye contact% lean slightly forward% interact with the speaker by nodding, paraphrasing% clarify by asking questions% actively move away from distractions% be committed to understanding what the other is sayingSo, How Do I Show What is on My Screen?
L be direct, immediateL AI@ messagesL be clear about your feelings and wantsL distinguish between thoughts, feelings, and observationsL focus on one thing at a timeL be supportive
Intimacy: Where? B Play Conflict Crisis Shared Memories Intellectual Why is Intimacy So Hard?
How Can We Increase Our Intimacy?
=s view of me Engage in life together Seek to Know other B Let Other Know me |
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