|
Unhealthy Relationship |
|
Healthy Relationship |
|
over dependence
counter-dependence |
Dependency |
God dependence
interdependence |
|
in the other
in myself |
Faith |
in God
assumption of my
responsibilities
realistic about Other |
|
avoid
win/loose
record keeping |
Conflict |
resolve
solve the problem
forgiveness |
|
overly rigid
poorly defined |
Boundaries |
responsible for self &
behavior towards
others |
|
indirect
triangulated
power |
Communication |
honest
specific
to know & be known |
|
power
pleasure
avoidance |
Motivation |
Love of God, others, and our self |
|
competitive
either/or |
Needs |
identify & own mine
accept responsibility
to assist other |
|
undefined
passively accepted
fused
|
Goals |
individual & joint
recognized &
accepted by both |
|
habitual
default state |
Companionship |
mutual responsive to
uniqueness of each |
|
power
avoidance |
Tasks |
service in love |
|
Past
Future
Ideal/Devalue |
Focus of Attention |
present
integrate past &
prepare for future |
|
unilateral
power |
Decision Making |
defined & accepted
roles
shared strategy for
making decisions |
|
impulsive
unbalanced
inadequate to respond
to needs |
Allocation of Resources |
balanced to respond
to all needs, wants
determined by
purposeful choices |
|
selfish focus
avoidance
dependency
control, manipulation |
Within Marriage,
Sexual Relating |
mutual
responsible for self
responsive to spouse
letting go B
opening up |
