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Guilt and Shame in Christian
Perspective Dan
Green, Ph.D. Licensed
Psychologist and Clinical Director, New Life Resources, Inc., (262)
782-1474
www.newliferesourcesinc.com Definitions from
Why Do I Feel Like Hiding? and Encountering Shame and Guilt
by Dan Green & Mel Lawrenz If
I am guiltywoe to me! Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head, or I am full
of shame and drowned in my affliction.
Job 10:15 I
sometimes think that shame, mere awkward, senseless shame, does as much
towards preventing
good acts and straightforward happiness as any of our vices can do.
C.S. Lewis
GUILT
ή
the fact of wrongdoing, being wrong MORAL
SHAME
ή regret or remorse for having done wrong IMPOSED
SHAME
ή disgrace or devaluation inflicted by another NATURAL
SHAME
ή a sense of limitation, fallibility, humility GUILT:
objective Is the fact of being in the wrong Is a reality whether or not the person is aware Is the root human problem Is not based on perception or experience SHAME:
subjective Is the experience of feeling wrong Is an emotion Is a real experience Is the consequent human problem SHAME
DISCONNECTION MORAL SHAME I am responsible for the disconnection IMPOSED SHAME Someone else is responsible for the disconnection NATURAL SHAME Our fallen human nature is responsible for the disconnection Shame Is Resolved With RECONNECTION Reconnection
Options: With another person? (available? vulnerable?) With the imposer? With ourselves? With truth? With God!
Moral
Shame
self responsible for the disconnection moral sensitively, God created, the conscience may be mild or severe may be short or long term experience requires acceptance of responsibility and confession in order to seek forgiveness RESOLVING
MORAL SHAME identify the feeling of shame who is responsible for the disconnection? accept responsibility for ones own behavior own and resolve feelings Confess: God, Self, Other (if appropriate) Forgiveness Restitution/Correction IMPOSED
SHAME
other responsible for the disconnection our
need to reconnect leaves us vulnerable to imposed shame IMPOSED
SHAME DISTORTS OUR KNOWLEDGE OF... Ourselves,
Others, Truth, Reality, God WE
NEED TO DISCERN BETWEEN... What
we are responsible for and What we are not responsible I
AM RESPONSIBLE for... how I treat myself how I treat others
I
AM NOT RESPONSIBLE for... how others treat me how others treat others how others treat themselves RESOLVING
IMPOSED SHAME 1. Identify and accept presence of shame Attribute responsibility for the disconnection. a.
hold other responsible for their part
b. hold self responsible for own part 3. Identify, own, resolve all emotional
reactions. 4.
Use
anger to re‑establish boundaries. 5.
Learn
to accept love. 6. Confront the imposer (in person or symbolic) a.
confess personal responsibility b.
identify the responsibility of the person imposing shame 7. Forgive and accept forgiveness (REACH: Recall the
hurt, Empathize with the offender, Altruistic Gift of guilt, gratitude, and
the gift, Commitment to forgive, and Hold onto the forgiveness)
a. receive from God
b. self
c. others Rebuild relationship in truth, love, and grace. TOOLS
FOR REDUCING IMPOSED SHAME Refocus attention outside of self Reality check Journal Reframe Anger expression and resolution Connect with what is real NATURAL
SHAME
our humanity responsible for disconnection Our fallen human nature is responsible for the disconnection Sin left us disconnected from Gods image Chronic state, not dependent upon our or others actions NATURAL
SHAME IS EXPERIENCE WHEN... We contemplate our weaknesses We review our accomplishments and shortcoming We realize lifes demands We come up against our limitations We face our humanness THE
VALUE OF NATURAL SHAME Signals our need for something and someone greater than ourselves Signals our fundamental inadequacy Signals our need for God Signals our need for each other RESOLUTION
OF NATURAL SHAME ‑ THE HUMBLE ACCEPTANCE OF... Our constitutional limitations as human beings Our need for a savior Salvation, Redemption Our daily dependence on God |
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